Many of us spend an enormous amount of time accommodating others. Whether in a career, business or personal setting, adhering to the needs and or desires of others can be draining.  Close friends and family members (you know the people who we are the closest to) are those that weigh heaviest on us.  In caring for elderly parents, children, significant others etc., we often find ourselves in a yes cycle even when our mouths say no. There are also oftentimes when we feel no is not an option due to our responsibilities.  Here are 3 simple steps to your guilt-free and stable no.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries includes considering your daily routine and responsibilities.  For example: Let’s say you decide every Wednesday at 3:00 pm you are going to read for an hour. However, you didn’t consider your children usually arrive home at 3:15 daily, you have set an unhealthy boundary. Most likely you will find yourself full of aggravation when the children don’t adhere to your boundary.

Communicate Boundaries

Communicate plans with those who will be directly affected. You want to be sure to talk to your co-workers, team members, friends, and family. Lack of communication offers people the ability utilize “I didn’t know” as an excuse disturb your boundary.  If you set a boundary that’s not common knowledge for those who will be affected the boundary is unhealthy.

Implement and Enforce Boundaries

Implementing boundaries include having a strategic plan for how the boundaries will work with the multiple settings in your life. This means you have to ensure your responsibilities are able to function without you during the period you set-aside for your boundary. For instance, if you are a manager and you decide to have an administrative day where your office is closed to seeing people (employees, clients, etc.), it is imperative you have properly prepared Monday and Tuesday.  Enforcing boundaries can be difficult at first. Oftentimes the struggle is mostly because you are overly accommodating and available for others. If and when you are asked to compromise you your boundary you must remain strong and consistent in your NO.

 

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