Forgiveness can sometimes be the topic that no one cares to discuss. This is especially true if you are expected to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. One major issue with forgiveness is the fact that many people don’t seem to understand that it is a process. Oftentimes people have a tendency to look for immediate forgiveness. In the event a person apologizes for wronging or hurting someone, he or she has the expectation of and an immediate “okay I forgive you”. This is however an empty expectation because depending on how the wronged feels about the offence determines if the forgiveness is an immediate forgivable offence or not.
When thinking about the act of forgiving one should consider that to forgive does not imply the act is excused. Many times people confuse forgiveness and excusal and therefore make forgiveness a more difficult task. Countless articles and studies suggest that forgiveness is attributed to positive mental health.
There is some validity to the relationship between health and the type of forgiver you are. There are different ways to forgive according to an article in the Huffington Post. This particular article noted was a 2011 study in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine that states “People who practice conditional forgiveness, in other words, people who can only forgive if others say sorry first or promise not to do the transgression again may be more likely to die earlier, compared with people who are less likely to practice conditional forgiveness.” I can’t off the back of my hands think of even one person I believe would be happy to have their days shortened by the practice of conditional forgiveness. That being said below I have outlined 3 ways to begin the implementation of the forgiveness process.
- Accept the event for what it was and not just your associated feelings. In other words what are the facts of the event? Try for a moment to just think about what was factual.
- Give yourself permission to feel your emotions behind the hurt. If you are angry process and communicate the anger. Trying to hold things in and pretend you’re “okay” causes a hindrance in the forgiveness process.
- Make the decision to either forgive and begin the process or decide not to forgive an own your decision. There are times when you can decide; “this hurt was far too difficult to consider forgiveness right now”. You can also use top 10 online casinos. Take this stance and began to move toward healing. I believe it is possible to heal without forgiveness if done in a healthy manor.
P.S. Take a look at the attached Huffington Post Article, there is some great information in there!
I have named January forgiveness month for the year 2018. To take a more in-depth look into the emotional growth area forgiveness click here to sign-up for weekly emails.
Until next time have a greater understanding of the forgiveness process and be DOPE!