Sometimes I wonder if the reason some people are so favorable to everyone because they support others with no regard for self. Are you someone who has a habit of trying to accommodate others even when it’s a detriment to your own plans and or schedule? Don’t get me wrong selflessness is a good attribute to have (sometimes). However, this character trait has the ability to be a double edge sword. If one isn’t careful it is very probable he or she will begin to build resentments. Below outlines three ways not to allow resentment to build slowly and become a silent killer of your happiness.
- Say No. There are times when you would like to be accommodating and quite frankly you must say no. Meeting the needs of everyone in your life and they just so happened not to carry the same trait can build resentments. Have you ever heard the saying “treat others like you want to be treated”? This is a quote that I somewhat I agree and disagree with. Many people don’t share the same kind of character traits. It’s a bad idea to look for identical treatment in return, and those do will ultimately be disappointed.
- Communicate your feelings. It’s reasonable to make the decision to “pick your battles”. I would challenge you though, to weigh the possible outcome. Have you ever experienced “trying to keep the peace” and not mention an aggravation you encountered and every time you turn around you continue to have the experience until you go off? Just when you’ve had enough the other party or parties appear to be oblivious to your irritation. Picking your battles doesn’t call for you to allow people, situations and or dislikes to hold you mentally hostage. The earlier you communicate your feelings the sooner you can deal with the situation.
- Tell yourself yes. Treat yourself to something nice every and then. Depending on your life situation you are obligated to many responsibilities. The thing I’ve found to be a commonality is people tend to drop the ball to their most important responsibility, themselves. This is not to offer advice to enter into irresponsible behavior. Even if you do something small, for example, getting a manicure once or twice a month or even taking yourself for coffee or lunch. Saying yes to yourself doesn’t mean you have to break the bank. This practice gives you a sense of satisfaction for all the hard work and good you do.
I found an article on self-growth.com about selflessness to be very interesting. Although many of the things written in this article stung a bit, it helped me to understand why I had certain behaviors and redirect my actions. Check out a short snippet of the article below, I’ve also included the link here>>> http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/selfless-why-do-some-people-always-put-others-first to read it in its entirety.
“Playing this role is inevitably going to lead to pain. On the surface, it may give one a sense of pride and even superiority over people who appear to be selfish. And to the onlooker, one may be described as a good person and model citizen for example.
But within is likely to be a buildup of anger, frustration and even resentment. This may be a conscious realization or it may go on out of one’s awareness.”
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