Without even trying expectations are placed on people that they may not be able to satisfy. There is this notion that people ought know certain things and for this reason many individuals are left disappointed. The one term that really aggravates me is “common sense”. But common sense for who, by who and according to who. Truth be told common sense differs for many reasons (culture, class, religion, race etc.). Your “common sense” may not be that of your child, friend, spouse, lover etc. and vice versa. If common sense was so very common when a person applied for and secured a job he or she wouldn’t need a job description. I applied for a job as a person, I understand what a janitor does so common sense should tell me I’m suppose to clean
If one never communicates what he or she expects unfortunately the expectations are empty and unhealthy. Empty because this gives the argument “how was I suppose to know you expected that”. Unhealthy because if someone doesn’t satisfy your “expectation” it could cause you unnecessary stress.
Here are three things to consider doing when setting expectations that could be viewed as silent:
- Communicate: Communication and effective communication of your expectations are two different things. In order to effectively communicate your expectations they need to be understood and agreed upon.
- Negotiate: Oftentimes we are too bossy or demanding in our expectations and its All or Nothing. All or something is better then all or nothing when you need help. Put your ego aside and if a person can’t meet your total expectations ask what they can commit to.
- Reiterate: Don’t be guilty of the “I will not repeat myself”. This is not to say you should badger a person to satisfy an agreed upon expectation but a friendly reminder every now and then could be helpful.
It’s easy to be bull-headed in regards to your expectations however this mind-set will cause them to never be met or be met with irritation. You can be the BOSS all the time but there is a saying “You catch more flies with honey then vinegar”.
What expectations will you communicate differently? I’d love to hear from you, lets connect! Click here to join my mailing list
Until next time, set healthy expectations