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PamelaNicoleDukes

in Inspiration, Lifestyle

Stop Feeding Self-doubt With Your What If’s

Just wondering if you’ve ever been in a what if debate with yourself.  You know the type of debate that holds your aspirations hostage. You have an idea or dream to go for a certain goal you want to attain, be it starting a business, applying for a job even as simple as purchasing a gift for someone you love.  The what if debate talks us out of the desires of our hearts by simply weighing the outcome of things on the negative side of if.  For example: “I want to start a book club but what if no one joins”.  I thought about this a little further and realized that what if has more than likely been the demise of many great ideas.  I have a challenge for you and the what if’s in your life. For the next week try to assume every if is positive.  Here’s what I mean, take the example above, “what if I start a book club and have numerous members”.  Here are 3 tips that’ll help you redirect your negative what if thoughts.

  1. Recognize when the negative if’s thoughts are happening
  2. Picture yourself in the midst of the exact scenario if the idea happened just how you desired
  3. Push past the fear and take action anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, there will be times when things don’t go the way you plan, however, if you never try it’ll never go the way you plan.  Don’t allow what if’s to paralyze your dreams, goals, and aspirations instead allow them to be the fuel to move you to go after everything you want.

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Until next allow your What If’s to be positive and be dope!

in Inspiration, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Do You Have Any Self-Compassion?

Surely you’ve heard the saying “we are our own worst critic”.  This sad but undeniable truth can oftentimes be more detrimental to our emotional health then we know.  There are instances when we are extremely hard or ourselves and we offer compassion to anyone but ourselves.  The idea of self-compassion is not a leeway to self-pity; instead, it’s intended to help us learn from what we perceive our mistakes are.  Consider this; if a close friend or your child were to share a situation they were really down on themselves about you’d have the ability to pull various positive aspects of their situation. You’d convey to them different approaches they could try in the future as well as what skill and or lessons they could learn from their situation.  Why is this process so difficult for individuals to implement? Check out this video I found by School of Life on YouTube.  Self-Compassion Exercise by, The School of Life 

You may also find the following emotional balancing tools useful when dealing with Self-compassionContinue reading

in Family, Inspiration, Lifestyle

What You Should Know about Forgiveness

Forgiveness can sometimes be the topic that no one cares to discuss. This is especially true if you are expected to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. One major issue with forgiveness is the fact that many people don’t seem to understand that it is a process. Oftentimes people have a tendency to look for immediate forgiveness. In the event a person apologizes for wronging or hurting someone, he or she has the expectation of and an immediate “okay I forgive you”. This is however an empty expectation because depending on how the wronged feels about the offence determines if the forgiveness is an immediate forgivable offence or not.

When thinking about the act of forgiving one should consider that to forgive does not imply the act is excused. Many times people confuse forgiveness and excusal and therefore make forgiveness a more difficult task. Countless articles and studies suggest that forgiveness is attributed to positive mental health.

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