in Family, Inspiration, Lifestyle

What You Should Know about Forgiveness

Forgiveness can sometimes be the topic that no one cares to discuss. This is especially true if you are expected to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. One major issue with forgiveness is the fact that many people don’t seem to understand that it is a process. Oftentimes people have a tendency to look for immediate forgiveness. In the event a person apologizes for wronging or hurting someone, he or she has the expectation of and an immediate “okay I forgive you”. This is however an empty expectation because depending on how the wronged feels about the offence determines if the forgiveness is an immediate forgivable offence or not.

When thinking about the act of forgiving one should consider that to forgive does not imply the act is excused. Many times people confuse forgiveness and excusal and therefore make forgiveness a more difficult task. Countless articles and studies suggest that forgiveness is attributed to positive mental health.

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in Uncategorized

Stop Allowing People to Tell You How to Feel

Social media, newspapers aids, news reporters, paparazzi, family, friends, associates and or enemy’s all have one thing in common, they share information. Now, the position we decide to take after we hear the stories isn’t always our decision.  This is most certainly true if you just so happen to be filled with unstable emotions.  Yup I said it, for every person who proclaims to “not be in their feelings” can often be caught one time or another in their feelings.  Hell this post has the ability to put you in your feelings, hopefully after you take a deeper dive you’ll have been open enough to have learned something. Continue reading

in Inspiration, Uncategorized

3 Key Reasons to Forgive Even Without the Apology You May Never Receive

Most people would agree that when a person has wronged someone he or she should render an apology. This very popular opinion, however, is not always the case.  To be quite frank, many times the offender will never apologize for whatever reason. Consider these reasons as a motivation to forgive even if you never receive an apology.

Forgiveness is not intended to release the offender its purpose is to free the offended. Oftentimes we believe if we forgive we are forgiving the hurtful act.  This is not true, forgiveness in many cases can be used as a tool to regain your mental power in an effort not to be held hostage by the issue.

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in Lifestyle

How to Make Your No Mean No in 3 Simple Steps

Many of us spend an enormous amount of time accommodating others. Whether in a career, business or personal setting, adhering to the needs and or desires of others can be draining.  Close friends and family members (you know the people who we are the closest to) are those that weigh heaviest on us.  In caring for elderly parents, children, significant others etc., we often find ourselves in a yes cycle even when our mouths say no. There are also oftentimes when we feel no is not an option due to our responsibilities.  Here are 3 simple steps to your guilt-free and stable no.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries includes considering your daily routine and responsibilities.  For example: Let’s say you decide every Wednesday at 3:00 pm you are going to read for an hour. However, you didn’t consider your children usually arrive home at 3:15 daily, you have set an unhealthy boundary. Most likely you will find yourself full of aggravation when the children don’t adhere to your boundary.

Communicate Boundaries

Communicate plans with those who will be directly affected. You want to be sure to talk to your co-workers, team members, friends, and family. Lack of communication offers people the ability utilize “I didn’t know” as an excuse disturb your boundary.  If you set a boundary that’s not common knowledge for those who will be affected the boundary is unhealthy.

Implement and Enforce Boundaries

Implementing boundaries include having a strategic plan for how the boundaries will work with the multiple settings in your life. This means you have to ensure your responsibilities are able to function without you during the period you set-aside for your boundary. For instance, if you are a manager and you decide to have an administrative day where your office is closed to seeing people (employees, clients, etc.), it is imperative you have properly prepared Monday and Tuesday.  Enforcing boundaries can be difficult at first. Oftentimes the struggle is mostly because you are overly accommodating and available for others. If and when you are asked to compromise you your boundary you must remain strong and consistent in your NO.


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in Inspiration

Know the Scent Of Your Own Sh*t

Self-knowledge is one of the most powerful skills to have.  It allows us to have a better grasp on things in life that just happens to be an aggravation for us.  For example: If a person is aware they have a low tolerance level for waiting on someone, they have the information required to redesign their reaction to a friend who is always late.  When hanging out with a habitual late friend one may want to secretly adjust the meeting time with this person.  If the meeting time is scheduled for 10:00 am the prompt person may not want to arrive until 10:15 am.

When you become angry or aggravated about something who do you blame? Do you blame not enough time, the situation or a person who may be involved? To be honest you are to blame. I know, I know, how can someone else “pissing you off or not being respectful of your time” be your fault? Well here’s how….. You are responsible for your own emotions. This is not to say that the actions of others, and or aggravating situations won’t initiate negative emotions.  To be honest, the emotion isn’t the problem; the excess time spent on an issue paired with negative emotional reactions is where the real problem lies.  The antidote is simply knowing the scent of your own sh*t.

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